Emotional Intelligence is about recognising or naming your emotions when they become active, and you learn to work with the area of the brain that is responsible for the emotional outbursts and triggers; how emotions influence motivation and behaviour.
Being sophisticated means having a refined appearance, being subtle, being in control of one’s emotions, and having a deep understanding of complicated concepts or social graces.
Feeling Mind – limbic brain is the feeling mind and when out of control, it is a danger, even worse when backed up with harmful or negative beliefs. The amygdala (fear centre) is part of the emotional brain.
Thinking Mind – is the adult area, the frontal area of the brain, and when used, we increase blood flow to it. The prefrontal area of the brain can help or hinder us with communication, and manage complex cognitive processes. It is the quieter area of the brain, and we can change our frontal lobe through self-awareness and practice.
Does this mean that we cannot have emotions? Of course, not. We will always have emotions. There is a difference between having healthy or mature emotions and having unhealthy or immature emotions. The immature emotions are linked to our conditioning, which cultivated the beliefs we have about ourselves, how we perceive people, and how we interpret the world around us. Emotions are filled with energy. Adverse experiences and emotional neglect have led to a clouded perception of yourself that will have bred jealousy or envy. Shame is a very powerful emotion and often leads to actions that make you feel shameful because it has become your comfort zone.
When we combine the two – emotional intelligence and sophistication – they go hand in hand. A sophisticated person is in charge of his or her own behaviours and actions, and sophisticated people show empathy and understanding towards others. They are worldly and they are curious about themselves and they focus on improving themselves. They act from their frontal cortex, which is the thinking brain, and yes, they have emotions, but they use their emotions to for their own grace.
Does it mean they are a walkover? Absolutely not. They are far from a walkover. They have their own values as their safety net and they follow their own values. They are honest in their communications but not rude. They have an aura around them that is inviting, but at the same time, you know there are boundaries. The values of a sophisticated person are their boundaries.
Will they not listen to other people’s opinions? Oh, they love other people’s opinions. They are keen to listen to other people, but they don’t just follow blindly. They question the status quo. They don’t question the status quo out of rebellious streaks, they have a keen interest in understanding other people’s experiences and perspectives. This is called empathy.
Sophisticated people use emotional intelligence. Using emotional intelligence is sophisticated because when you know your triggers or the signals your body sends you, you quickly recognise the emotion, and through this process, you can use your thinking brain without suppressing any emotions, and you are your authentic self.
In other words, we are all sophisticated, but many cannot see it because most are afraid of looking at their emotions because of fear and fear is in the amygdala, which is part of the limbic brain.
When you can combine heart and brain, you feel so much confidence, and you see your true worth. The true quality of yourself, and this is called Healthy Self-Esteem.