This client was very smart and very good at addressing problems. This was a strength that had slowly turned into a weakness. Through mentorship, we found a pattern that kept happening: people would unconsciously put their concerns on her desk, which took up her time and slowed down business progress. This dynamic had an important but hidden purpose. The client avoided tasks that made her visible, like making videos for her business, by remaining busy fixing other people’s problems. She feared attention in this particular area. The base of it all was an unconscious assumption that came from childhood: being competent meant being safe, and assuming responsibility early meant being accepted and belonging. Recognition changed the pattern. The client is more sure of herself when it comes to setting limits. The client took back control of her time after naming the misconception without making her feel confident or giving up her sense of self.
Recognition: She didn’t solve problems out of kindness. It was a learnt method to be useful, feeling needed and justifying her existence and not being seen at the same time.