The client said that she used social media too much in the evenings to relax and regain her independence after hard days of responsibility. Discipline or a digital detox didn’t work to cut down on consumption time after time. Mentoring made it evident that social networking wasn’t the problem. It was the answer that the nervous system had come up with. Early over-responsibility connected autonomy to times of mental retreat, new experiences, and low demand. Scrolling gave her a break without any obligations, consequences, or visibility. Once we realised that this unconscious notion of autonomy only exists when nothing is requested of her, the need to do anything about it lessened. The desire to assert autonomy at night went away on its own when it was restored during the day through boundaries, relaxation, and choice.
Recognition: What looked like a lack of discipline was a nervous system claiming autonomy in the only way it knew how. What looked like poor discipline was actually a nervous system reclaiming autonomy after chronic responsibility. The urge to scroll dissolved once autonomy was restored through boundaries rather than withdrawal.